Dear God, thank you for using all things. Forgive us for all of our sins. For your glory, forever and ever. Amen.
It has been a minute since I have written a blog. I have missed you all dearly, but I was in a season that I needed to focus on growing in Him. “The worst place you can find yourself is doing all these things for God, but not with Him (Jonathan McReynolds).” I was doing things for Him, because of Him… but I would forget to pray. When things got tough, I would try to handle things like I did before I accepted Him into my life.
These last few months I have really been focusing on building with Christ and making room for Him to be in every aspect of my life. It’s the months before then, that I really need to talk about.
Let’s Talk About It – The Initial Reason for My Disapperence
See I battled with a guilt that showed how wrongly I depicted God. I felt unworthy of writing, of sharing my God-given talent, so I just stopped. I felt like I had let God down and the feeling made me think that I could no longer be used by God. Get this though, I felt this feeling even after I repented. This is when I knew that my perspective of God was a little off. I took the God of grace and mercy that I wrote so strongly about, and turned Him into this God of revenge and harsh judgement. I had forgotten how gracious the God we serve was, is, and will be.
I fell into this darkness where I began to run from my gift. I had repented, yet I felt like there was no way that I could still be used. So I would read the Bible, but instead of having my notepad out… I just read it to “comprehend.” I knew the truth, I knew that I was going out of my way to not receive His insight (to not get anything out of it). I knew this because as closed as I thought my heart was… He would still give me messages. As much as I thought He disliked me, He would still give me thoughts to share with my close circle. He was showing me that, He still saw purpose.
Yet, I could feel myself running away from Him, but God is so good that he planted reminders of His love all around me. I would go to work and they would ask where is your blog. I would go on Facebook and people would ask when was the next blog coming. I would talk to family and they were waiting to see how God would use me next. I explained how I felt to a few of them. They told me, “You are showing that you do not trust God to forgive you. Keeshon you have repented and He has forgiven you. Your problem is not with Him, it’s with yourself.”
This whole experience was meant to take me away from God. It was supposed to turn my gift back into only being a talent. The devil thought he could steal my joy. The devil thought that he could ruin my eternity, but instead it pushed me closer. It made me fall in love with myself again, but not because of who I am. I fell in love with myself, because of how much I realized that God loved me. So in my bad moments, on my worst day… I know that I am still enough. It showed me three things.
- God forgives and I mean He will forgive you, even when you have not forgiven yourself.
- The devil does not run away from you, you run away from the devil.
- GOD NEVER LEAVES!
The last one is my testimony as I am able to write a different type of blog, but one that is still for His glory. Today, I plead with those who are going through a season of satan trying to invalidate you. He cannot win. You see as you run away from satan, you will not even have to run far. You will truly be able to see just how close God is. You turn around to run from satan and fall right into God’s arm. I plead with those that are struggling to forgvie themselves, to understand that His grace is truly sufficient. He loves all of you, the good things and the bad things. He is the God of the mountain and the God of the valley. Remember, He uses all things.
Today, some of these words may have resonnated with you. You are tired of fighting against yourself. You felt a shift in your thoughts, in your heart and you are open to trying Jesus. Now after you let him in, do not get this misunderstood… you will still go through things and life may not always make sense. The one thing I can promise you is that you will never be alone. You will be connected to a source that never runs out of Grace and Mercy. If this is for you.
Say this aloud:
I now believe that Jesus Christ is Your only begotten Son, that He came down to our earth in the flesh and died on the cross to take away all of my sins and the sins of this world. I believe that Jesus Christ then rose from the dead on the third day to give all of us eternal life.
I now confess to You all of the wrong and sinful things that I have ever done in my life. I ask that You please forgive me and wash away all of my sins by the blood that You have personally shed for me on the cross. I am now ready to accept You as my personal Lord and Savior. I now ask that You come into my life and live with me for all of eternity.
Father, Jesus – I now believe that I am truly saved and born again.
Thank You Father.
Thank You Jesus.”
Maybe you had a relationship with God, but life happened. The devil tried to take you away from your relationship with God.
Say this aloud:
“Father, I come to You in the Name of Jesus Christ. I confess that I have fallen away from You. I confess that I have sinned against You by backsliding away from You, Your ways and Your Word. Like the prodigal son, Lord, I humbly ask for Your forgiveness for the evil I have done. I repent and turn away from this evil life that I have lived. I miss You so much!
I now recommit my life to You, Lord Jesus. I just want to come home. I want You to be the Lord of my life now and forever more. Please forgive me for wandering and walking away from You. I’m so sorry that I have hurt You. I ask that my sins be washed away by Your Precious Blood. I thank You for the price You paid so that I can be cleansed from all my sins!
Lord, fill me once again with Your Holy Spirit that I might live unto righteousness with You. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me O Lord. I choose on this day, a new life. As for me and my house, I choose to serve the Lord!
Thank You, Father, for restoring me into fellowship with You. Thank You for the Blood of Jesus that has cleansed me. Thank You that, like Peter, I am restored to fellowship with You, and I ask Lord, that we would continue our walk again. Flow through me to advance the Kingdom every day of my life. I ask all these things in the Name of Jesus. Amen and Amen!”
If you said either of these aloud and you believed it in your heart. I would love to personally congratulate you and welcome you to the family. He led you to this post for a reason. He used it to open your heart and ease your burden. Never forget that He loves you and has plans for you, that you have not even planned for yourself. Let Him use you. Yield yourself, so that He can show you the plans He has for you. All it takes it just a little trust, in Matthew 17:20 the Bible says, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
Thank you God, you never left me and I know you never will.
HERE IS MY ANTHEM OF 2021.